INCOMPATIBILITY WITHIN FRIENDS WHO MARRY

Can best friends be good life partners?[3Q3S8VKMSBJY] Psychiatrist  say one reason for in compatibility can be that a commitment happens too quickly, bringing along faulty expectations.At the same time it's hard to pinpoint the
ingredients of a perfect marriage,

Good friends can be excellent life partners, but that depends. It is a matter of understanding and
appreciating each other and then building a relationship.Commitment should not happen quickly, bringing along a lot of faulty and undue expectations,

There needs to be a healthy sync between two people for the relationship to become strong and satisfying. If they have a conflicting personality coupled with low levels of tolerance to distress, there would be a greater number of disappointments in the relationship,Say one psychiatrist,who believes that bonding of partners at a physical, emotional and mental level is extremely important.

On the contrary, if partners are able to blend well and appreciate and accept each other well, there is a bigger chance of a smooth and gratifying relationship,
True example:
Mrs X, got married in December to her long-time beau, but after the honeymoon period, the 27-year-old wondered whether she had taken the right decision to marry the person she dated for over nine years."I don't know. I am still confused. Is it that men change after marriage or is it the perspective that changes? The person I knew before marriage has completely changed. I don't understand where the problem lies? Am I too demanding or has he become too casual?" grumbles Mrs X."I wish I could turn back time and get rid of this burden. I don't know what I have put myself into," she added.

Explanation:Very often, we choose to focus only on the brighter side of a relationship and forget to see
the complete picture which might not be so pleasant.It is only later when one takes a complete view of the situation that one may begin to have doubts and confusions and would want to re-evaluate his/her decision.
Both arranged and love marriages have their pros and cons, but it is how flexible one is in contributing to a relationship that matters.However, getting married to a person whom you know for a longer time has its advantages.

There is a basic comfort level in a relationship if you know the person for a long time.If partners have known each other for a long time and have spent enough time to experience each others' moods, temperament and to understand each others' personalities, it will surely give them an edge over those who are complete strangers to each other.

True example:Mrs Y, recently celebrated the silver jubilee of her successful love marriage and shared its recipe.
"There is a lot of give and take in every relationship. In a love marriage, suddenly your priorities shift. All that lovely and flowery life turns upside down when you come face to face with reality. Your expectations from your spouse goes for a toss. You feel that he has changed and vice verse, but that is not the case," explained Mrs Y."In reality, you have to understand your spouse and assure him/her that your love is still the same. Nothing has changed. Adjustment and understanding is the key. There may be small things that will irritate you, but all depends on how dedicated you are towards a relationship to survive," she added.

Raghu Natrajan

ROMANCE TIPS-HOW TO SPOT A CHEATER

Almost 50 to 60 percent of married men[ en3Q3S8VKMSBJY]gage in extramarital sex at one time or another during their relationship, and pitely the women in their lives have no idea. So don't one need to have some basic knowledge to spot him? and protect yourself?

If he has cheated before.
What you sow is what you reap.As the saying goes one with a past cheating behavior is  most likely to cheat in future as well.Past cheating behavior is a reliable predictor for future cheating behavior.

If he is a adamant and unforgiving.
People with these personality traits feel that they’re always right and need not have to explain everything they do. They’re more likely to cheat because they feel they are right in their action don’t have to play by the rules.

If he has no sense of guilt.
Men who don’t feel remorse or guilt when they do something wrong are prime candidates for cheating. They won’t have those emotions to hold them back.

If he’s is prone to lie.
If he is good at lying about other things in his life, then he is likely to cheat you.

If he learned it at home.
If  un- faithfulness runs in his family, then he is more likely to be inclined to cheat.

If he is spending less time with you.
If You’re in the same house but not really together, such as you watch Tv he with computer, or you want to go to bed early while he stays up lats deliberately.If a man is spending less time with you, it doesn’t really mean he has met someone. But Such behavior creates a distance between the two,which becomes a
breeding ground for infidelity.
If he is being less affectionate.
Perhaps he doesn’t cuddle with you in bed anymore. Or he comes to bed fully dressed when he once slept nude. These are all ways of disconnecting and may indicate he is getting his intimacy somewhere else.

If his computer habits have changed.
Check his computer.If there is a  new and secretive email account which he is not willing to share the content of the account with you it becomes more likely and means your significant other is having an affair;

If his cell phone habits have changed.
He suddenly gets a new phone with a password lock, Or  keeps his cell phone in his pocket Or   excuses himself each time the phone rings.

Raghu Natrajan

ROMANCE TIPS - WHAT YOUR SLEEP POSITIONS TELL.

Sleep positions speak volumes about relationship.The body language in bed could be a telling indicator of your emotional status in a relationship.[3Q3S8VKMSBJY]

Let us see some of the main sleep positions and their meaning. If you and your partner lie, having your backs facing each other in bed, then these might just be more than mere sleeping positions.

Full of Lust.

Very cuddled up, with your legs entwined and the erogenous zones snuggled into each other. The meaning: There is loads of passion and sensuality, and you are probably in the honeymoon phase.

The Spoons (him behind)
Both lying on your sides, you showing your back to him. The meaning: He is protective of you.  Beware if you never touch in this sleep position, it may become  platonic.

The Spoons (her behind)
Both lying on your sides, he showing his back to you. The meaning: You are very nurturing and the backbone of the relationship. He is willing to let go of responsibilities and you being his emotional anchor. 

Poles Apart
Your backs face each other.  The meaning: The intimacy is breaking down and you may be too independent of each other. If that suits you both then that's okay, as long as you have intimacy, But be careful in not using this position to shut each other out.

Submissive

One lies on their stomach, their fingertips reaching out to their partner who lies on their back or side. 

The meaning: The partner reaching out is submissive in the relationship - the power lies with the other partner.

Pushed Out
One sprawls in a starfish shape, the other faces away, clinging to the edge of the bed. The meaning: The sprawler dominates your relationship and they might be selfish and unaware of their partner's needs. If you are the one pushed out,ensure you start asserting yourself during the day.
Need You
One lies on their back, the other is cradled in the crook of their arm cuddled up to them. The meaning: The partner on their back provides emotional strength and is happy offering emotional support to the other partner who is more needy.

Mixed Messages
One lies tucked up in the foetal position, facing the other who is flat on his/her back. The meaning: The one in the foetal position needs comfort but feels unable to express their needs to their partner, who is oblivious to their needs.

Identify what is going wrong and start talking about it.

Raghu Natrajan

ROMANCE TIPS- LOVE OUTSIDE MARRIAGE

What drives people to find love out of wedlock? and why?
What prompts people to seek a relationship outside wedlock, putting 
their Family life and image at stake?
Experts say there is no specific reason - some do it for thrill, 
some for pleasure, while others get into extramarital affairs to 
avoid tension at home.
The famous golfer Tiger Woods has tendered apology for 
"irresponsible" behavior in his first reaction to the news,but he 
didn't explain why he got into such relationships.
There are no such rules to define why a person gets emotionally or 
romantically involved after marriage. It varies from individual to 
individual.
A marriage is a marriage and an affair outside marriage is an affair
.It doesn't make any difference whether the partners initially had 
love or an arranged marriage. A lot depends on the changing 
individual psyche and it varies from individual to individual.

An extramarital relationship may be just a casual one for fulfilling
needs of sex or thrill, or it may be a very intense, emotional 
bond. Usually, one would get into such a relationship once he or 
she has given up hope of getting something like love, sex, 
excitement, understanding, appreciation or respect in present 
marriage,say psychiatrist 
"Over the past few months, fights with my wife have become so 
frequent and arguments in the family have hit the roof. I don't 
feel like going home. So I try to work extra hours in office or 
hang out with friends,but I can't do that every day. I need someone 
to talk to, to vent out my thoughts. It is the emotional support 
that I am looking for," said one.Like him, there are many men and 
women, frustrated or tired of their relationships, who are hunting 
for solace in someone's arms.
There are others who have a healthy and happy married life but are 
still seeking adventure through an extramarital relationship.They 
expect a "Kick" from it.
The quest to find the "perfect" partner is one of the major culprits
leading people to extramarital relationships.

Extramarital relationships seem perfect because they are not 
spending much time together and get to see only the best in each 
other. The small fights that happen are also brushed aside because 
they want the relationship more than anything else explains 
psychiatrist and add these extramarital relationships are like 
thrillers.There is so much thrill (planning secretly the meeting 
places),mutually guarding of a shared secret, tension (hiding from 
people), jealousy and anger,longing for each other, and wanting 
each other. In the limited time that the two get together,they are 
ready to do anything for each other.This 'thriller' is obviously 
appealing to any bored person.
So,are these extramarital relationships really "unwinding" for a 
person?
There is nothing right or wrong about such relationships.These 
relationships often do a great job of need fulfillment. If handled 
in a mature manner, the relationship will grow into a great 
friendship while they lead their individual lives separately. Is 
there such maturity among us ?.

Raghu Natrajan.

PRACTICAL TIPS OF LOVEMAKING

Fiddle in his Pockets

When he's least expecting it, tell your man you need some change. Then stick your hand in his pocket and touch his penis through the fabric, pretending that you're really digging around for that coinage you need.When he's good and hard, whisper something in his ear like, I think you are glad to see me?

Strut Your Stuff

When you go out with your man, wear your sexiest outfit. Sometimes you have to remind your guy "How you look". It really turns most guys on, when they realise that someother men want to be with. And it can be a tremendous ego boost for you, too. When you feel sexy, you are horny. On return to home, you won't be able to keep your hands off each other.

Feed food

Have a romantic dinner by feeding each other. There's something sensual about placing food in your partner's mouth. After a meal like this, serve yourself for dessert.

Love Your Body

Look at yourself naked in a full-length mirror and focus on what you love about your body. Alternatively dry your hair while standing naked in front of the mirror. By getting used to your unique shape, you'll gain confidence that will naturally spill over into your sex life.
Together in the Tub

Before lovemaking take a bath together. Bring out the fluffy towels, then add some drops of patchouli oil,
sandalwood oil, and lavender oil into your bathwater. Patchouli and sandalwood are awakeners of sensuality, and lavender induces relaxation. The combination of scents and warm-water will completely prime your
bodies — and minds.

Screw technique

Try the oral-sex technique “The Screw.” As you're moving up his shaft with your mouth, turn your head a bit from side to side, letting your tongue follow a corkscrew pattern. When you get to the frenulum — that part of the shaft just beneath the head — be sure to lick it for a few seconds before moving all the way up to the top. Then repeat, moving down his shaft. What will drive him wild about this is that you aren't just going up and down — you're also going sideways.

Use His Penis

As a pre-sex routine try pressing his penis against surprising parts of your body.Hold his penis against your inner thigh to tease him like crazy; touch the tip of his penis against your breast, and rub his enulum against your nipple; or bring the side of his shaft against the outside of one of your cheeks, then put it up to your lips and cover it with wet kisses.Rub your breasts against his penis and he'll happily rise to the occasion.

Massage Him

If you have time,give your man a massage without using your hands.Undress your partner,  then, keeping your hands at your side or behind your back, stroke his body (all except for his penis) with your face, hair, and breasts.

Slip into a Naughty Costume

Try different outfits since they'll help you get into the mood. If you want to flirt,put on asexy lingerie and pull your hair into a ponytail.If want to behave as a schoolgirl wear plaid miniskirt with a shirt. To become an X-rated seductress, wear something red or black in sheer fabric or lace. Outfits not only help you get into the mood, they also give him a visual turn-on and inspiration.

Pleasure His Penis

Cup your hand around his member,then kiss the part of his penis that's exposed while breathing hard. Your hand will trap your exhalations and make his penis feel superhot. With your other hand, work his testicles. He'll think he in heaven.

Keep Your Pants On

Encourage your man to touch you when you have your favorite tight jeans on (and don't let him take them off). His hand can glide over your crotch more easily, and the material will transmit the sensations over a wider area.

Kiss often

Share a passionate 10-second kiss every single day. A lot of couples keep having sex but stop really kissing.
It's such a wonderful, intimate act. So just go up and lay one on him. Instantly, you'll feel passionate instead of platonic.

Touch a (Sensual) Nerve

One of the most explosive nerves in the body is located at the top of the inner thigh. Start by licking your finger (the wetness increases the stimulation) and slowly drawing it from the mid–inner thigh to the top. Then follow the path you just traced with your tongue, teasing your way to the upper region. Because the skin here is tender, it's important to watch how he reacts. If he flinches, you're exciting the nerve to the point where it feels too ticklish. If he flinches, give the area firmer kisses.

Have Hotel Sex at Home

Try re-creating the away-from-home atmosphere in your own bedroom. You'll both feel like you're
on an incredible vacation from the rest of the world.

Keep Your Eyes Open

Watching his every move while you’re hooking up is a great way to explore more of the emotional side of intercourse. Start by kissing with your eyes open and looking at each other during foreplay. Gradually build up until you can sustain eye contact throughout both of your climaxes. You'll experience your orgasm in a totally different way.

Tune in to His Heartbeat

You might be surprised how easily you can become synchronized. Lay your hand on his chest, and have him do the same. Since heart rate speeds up during orgasm, if you stay hand-to-heart connected while you do it, you'll feel how wild you're driving each other.

Use Props

Great sex is all about angles — the angle of his erection and your pelvis determine exactly what hot spots he'll hit and how tightly he'll feel gripped. That's why pillows can be passion's best friend. Try one under his butt while you're on top or supporting your tailbone in the missionary position. You'll be surprised how many new sensations you both experience just by adding a pillow.

Moan Loudly!

Moan and you will doing him a favor The more you express your pleasure, the more you make him feel like the stud of the universe.

Just Add Lube

Your guy has what it takes to get you off. With a little extra lube, every touch and thrust will feel smoother and more pleasurable. And because you're wetter, he’ll feel more confident, which will inspire him to try new moves and positions.

Turn-Around... and Turn Him On

Face his legs instead of his face when you're on top. (Hold on to his feet for balance.) He'll get a great view of your backside — a surefire turn-on. And if his erection points straight out instead of up, this position will feel especially incredible to him.

Be the Boss in Bed

Tell your guy to lie down, then use handcuffs, scarves, or a necktie to tether his hands together so he can’t touch you. Next, you want to torture him playfully with your teasing. Slowly kiss your way down his torso, and just as you get to his pelvis, move back up to his ears and neck. As you tantalize him and he strains to touch you, ask him to tell you why he wants you so bad. Once he’s pleaded his case allow him to take over.

Don't Wait to Exhale

You can actually use your breath to control your orgasm. With each exhalation, imagine that you're pushing the satisfying sensations throughout your body — instead of just letting them build up below the waist. When you finally let go, you'll feel the orgasm from head to toe.

Maximize Each Moment

Try doing the same things you always do in the bedroom, but slow down to one-fourth of your normal speed. You and your guy will have time to really bond, and since you'll be feeling sensation over a longer period of time, your orgasms will likely be out of this world.

Raghu Natrajan

LOVEMAKING MISTAKES MEN MAKE

Do you think,you know everything about having sex with women?
That, the erotic ways of having sex, you carry around in your head may contain a lot of basic errors and omissions about women's sexuality -- which can lead to lovemaking mistakes that could be disheartening to both.

That is because  most of us are left to figure out sex for ourselves. Guys tend to take a lot of cues from adult movies, and we all know how true-to-life those are. Experience may help, but many women can be shy when talking about what they like.

Mistake No.1:

Men often make assumptions about what a woman wants based upon what they've done with other women.But women aren't all the same.You should never assume that what worked for the last person,or to another is going to work for this person , though you might have a repertoire of sexual acts and positions. That applies not only to sexual predilections, but also to relationships.There are women who can have no-strings-attached sex, and women who can get attached very easily, and then everyone in between.

Mistake No. 2: 

Some women can't have an orgasm just with human tongue or fingers which can only generate moderate
vibration. But men typically think something is wrong if a woman needs a vibrator.If the only way that a woman can achieve orgasm is with a vibrator, she's is to be provided with one.Think of a vibrator as your assistant, not your substitute. Many couples use vibrators together.
Mistake No. 3: 

There is a "huge difference" between men and women in the ways that sex feels good.When a man has intercourse with a woman, and his penis goes into her body, that sensation is so passionate for most men, they cannot imagine that it isn't feeling the same way for her.It couldn't be further from the truth.The inside of the vagina is probably less sensitive than the outer parts for most women.Also, deep thrusting may not feel so nice on the receiving end. If the penis is too long,it feels like you're getting punched in the stomach.It makes you feel nauseous.

Mistake No. 4:

Most guys know generally what a clitoris is and where to find it.But whether they understand it is the point. The belief that women must be able to orgasm from vaginal penetration stubbornly persists.There are people who say things like, my wife can't climax from intercourse unless she has clitoral stimulation.For the majority of women, it's not going to happen that way.

Men also lack information about how to touch it and how sensitive it is. A touch that's bliss for one woman may feel like nothing special, or may even be painful for someone else. Some prefer indirect stimulation.How can you find out how she likes to be touched? Answer ask her.
Mistake No. 5:

Guys sometimes get disappointed if a woman doesn't get slippery enough for easy penetration. Don't worry about it.Many think that if a women is turned on, she has to be wet, not necessarily.Some women tend to get wetter than others, and how much natural lubrication a woman has can change from day to day. It varies by the phase of her menstrual cycle, and it's subject to influences like stress and medications.

Mistake No. 6:

A lot of guys think they should be silent during sex, but unless you speak up, your partner has to
guess what's doing it for you and what isn't.A woman who wants to please you will probably
appreciate some directions.Please say,this is how I like it, and you do this in a way i most prefer.

Raghu Natrajan

NOICELESS LOVEMAKING

When you and your man/women have the entire house to yourselves, you can get down and dirty and be as loud as you want. But imagine this, you have a houseguest, or live at home with your in-laws.

 What do you do?

We suggest you go for muted action, where you can have the time of your life without hollering in the middle of the night. After all, you wouldn't want anyone else to hear those moans and groans, do you?

Let your bed be sturdy

Get a bed that is sturdy and won't give you away that easily. If your bed is creaky, it will squeak continuously every time you try to move. Your moments of lovemaking will soon become irritating.

Do it on the floor

Chuck the bed, plunge into action on the floor itself! Now we don't want you to sprain your back, while you are turning up the heat with your women/man. So use a mat to provide some relief. It will also muffle any sounds you are likely to make against the floor.We may also stay away from any kind of furniture to avoid getting hurt and making any more noise.
Shower time

This may just be the right time for you to act out that shower fantasy. The sound of the water will drown any love sounds you are making. Avoid pushing and shoving each other too hard in the bathroom. After all, you don't want your man/women to get a bump on his/her head and pass out while you are making love to him/her.

Choose the time when others are busy or asleep.

Get some action while your in-laws, guests are watching TV in the afternoon. So while they are getting their daily dose of soap opera drama, you can get your daily dose oflovemaking.You can even do it when they are asleep. Play some music in the background to drown your screams.

Use gags


 Their real purpose is to muffle any loud sounds you are likely to make while having regular sex too.

Raghu Natrajan